


No One to Tease

by Hexcraft



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: M/M, blogging au, boys in lingerie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-28
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2018-03-03 22:43:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2890700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexcraft/pseuds/Hexcraft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tired of being ignored for the sake of a website, Arthur decides to create an account of his own and quickly learns why blogging can be so addictive. However, the knowledge does nothing to ease his loneliness or impatience with his lover.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lonely

_Click._

_Click._

_Tap-click._

_Click._

_Click tap-click._

_Click._

“Hahaha.” _Click tap-click._

_Click._

Such small sounds. Just the tiny noises of a few keys being idly pressed by two fingers on one hand and three on the other. Arthur knew which fingers they were. He even knew which keys were being used, and what each of those itty bitty sounds meant, without ever having pressed any of them for that purpose, or having gone on that blasted website.

For weeks now, it seemed as if his lover did nothing else but sit there and scroll endlessly through that Tumblr blogging site. God, he even knew the name of a site he’d never visited, and only because he’d learned very quickly that it was, apparently, more important than him. Just sitting there listening to his lover—if he could even call the other man that anymore—blog for hours on end was depressing. Couldn’t they have a conversation? Couldn’t they sit together, not just in the same room, but _together,_ and watch a movie, or cuddle, maybe even make their way up to the bedroom after a little while and demonstrate their affections for each other?

As much as Arthur wished and wanted, he knew the chances of any of that happening were nonexistent. The internet would have to crash first, and then the other man would be far too focused on fixing it for Arthur to distract him long enough to get what he wanted.

Sighing, he turned his gaze from the book in his hands to the blond on the couch—Alfred. His hair was a pale blond, lighter than Arthur’s golden tones, and he wore glasses over his clear blue eyes. They were lit with entertainment, and he had a very slight smile on his lips as he continued to _click, click, click,_ his way through Tumblr. Legs stretched out along the couch and back propped against the armrest, his laptop sat on his thighs so his arms had enough room to rest comfortably with his hands on the keys.

Well, at least he looked happy, and that was more than Arthur could say about himself. He’d been foolish enough to be glad when the blue-eyed blond first discovered the blogging site. It was supposed to be something to keep Alfred busy so Arthur could have some peace and quiet while he read or took naps, and that’s all it had been at first. For a few days to a little over a week, Alfred only visited the site for about thirty minutes at a time. He would grow restless and have to abandon his laptop in favor of stretching, then either talk Arthur into going for a walk with him or settle on the floor to play videogames for a while. Arthur wasn’t sure what happened during that second week, but now the ash blond could and did sit for hours and hours without ever taking his gaze away from his screen. It was depressing, and Arthur couldn’t remember the last time he’d ever been this lonely. He shouldn’t have to feel this way, not with a lover he lived with and had been dating for years.

_I could seduce him._

Yes, there was that, but he’d already tried that. He’d tried it days ago, had knelt by the couch and slid his hands over Alfred’s shoulders and rubbed along his collarbone, kissed the bit of skin that peeked from under the blue-eyed male’s t-shirt, and nuzzled his cheek while whispering his name. It had worked for a few seconds; he’d gotten Alfred’s attention, and even managed to draw him into a kiss. But Alfred had broken it before Arthur could turn it to anything more than the soft touch of lips against lips, and just like that had gone back to his laptop. Arthur had whined—he didn’t deny that—and pouted and pressed his face into the cushion of the armrest, his hands still gently rubbing Alfred’s upper chest. The bastard hadn’t even noticed, and Arthur, rejected, had slunk away upstairs to wallow in self-pity for the next few hours.

He was not going to embarrass himself by trying again.

Still, he’d never expected to feel so _lonely_ while sharing an apartment with someone, especially someone he’d known for so long and was undeniably and unashamedly in love with. It was plain ridiculous. They were lovers, weren’t they? He’d at least thought there were behaviors to accompany that title.

_We’re barely even a couple anymore. That damn website’s replaced me. Can’t bloody believe it._

If he had to listen to Alfred clicking away for much longer, he was going to lose it. It was already hard enough to keep from sulking but this was getting ridiculous and Arthur was starting to feel the need to drink excessively or throw a fit. He needed to do _something,_ anything that would force Alfred off his laptop or at least stop Arthur from feeling so badly.

Without much hope, the golden blond checked his watch. Only 3:13—too early to start drinking. Brilliant.

He could throw a tantrum. It would definitely get Alfred’s attention, but it would als make Arthur look like a needy child. And there was always the chance that they’d start fighting and end up even worse than they were now. That wasn’t a risk Arthur was willing to take.

Moody and indecisive, his book long forgotten, Arthur looked over at his lover. He watched the other blond, silent, and tried to understand how a blogging site could be more interesting than he was. It wasn’t as if he was boring.

…was he?

No, no, of course not. He was educated, he gardened—tended to the window boxes and bushes out front—and read and knitted and embroidered and baked, he liked to listen to music and watch movies and take walks, he wasn’t boring. He just…wasn’t as interesting as Tumblr.

Oh, no, his eyes were welling up. He was going to cry.

_No, no, keep it together, Kirkland._

There was no reason to cry over something so silly. It’d be better to take a moment for himself. Ah, but the tears were escaping…!

Hurriedly, Arthur set his book aside and stood, moving into the kitchen where he was out of sight of the other man. Crying out of nowhere would be a poor way to bring up why he was unhappy.

_Stupid bastard probably wouldn’t even have noticed,_ he thought bitterly, wiping at his eyes and sniffing. His throat felt tight, a sure sign that he’d been and probably still was mere seconds away from breaking down into sobs. God, why was he letting this get to him? Had he always been this sensitive? He certainly hoped not. It was ridiculous.

Eyes now dry if not a little puffy and red, Arthur placed his hands flat on the counter and took a deep, steadying breath. “Get it together, mate,” he told himself sternly. “Can’t fall apart over some little website and a bit of loneliness.” Both hands lifting, he opened the cabinet door just in front of him and selected a white-flecked blue mug from the collection he had going. “Cup of tea and you’ll be right as rain.” He forced himself to sound confident, just to help pick his mood up, and tea really would soothe his nerves. It wasn’t a permanent fix and he knew that, but he wasn’t sure what else he could do. First things first, he had to calm himself down. Then, well, he’d figure something out.


	2. Blogging

With the loading screen glowing blue on his laptop, Arthur settled in comfortably at his desk. Part of him still couldn’t believe he was doing this, but the rest was convinced he didn’t really have a choice. What did a man have to do around here to get a little attention? If Alfred could satisfy all of his social needs with the internet, then Arthur could, too, damn it.

Okay, the desktop was almost finished—impatient, he double-clicked the icon for his internet browser (not the same one Alfred used, which was something the taller blond had pointlessly given him grief about) then waited as his cursor changed from an hour to small swirling circle to show that it was still loading. That was fair, he supposed, but he still tapped his fingers against the surface of his desk as he waited, and sat up a little straighter when the window finally opened to his homescreen.

Directing his cursor to the top of the page, Arthur clicked the address bar and carefully typed _www.tumblr.com._ It took a few seconds, then a large, slightly blurry image of a leaping deer filled his screen, with _tumblr._ in the center, above two boxes for an email and a password to log in. Since he didn’t have an account, Arthur clicked on the _Sign up_ option in the upper right corner instead. The screen shifted; a new image of patterned cloth blowing in the wind appeared, and now “Follow the blogs you’ve been hearing about. Share the things you love.” was centered below the heading. And there were three boxes instead of two, for an email, password, and username.

Well, email was easy, but it took him a few moments to come up with a suitable password. He could have just used the same one he did for everything, but Alfred knew that password, and he didn’t want the American hacking this tumblr account if he ever happened to find out about it. The embarrassment would be the end of Arthur’s pride. So he had to come up with a new one that he’d still be able to remember, and then it had to be strong enough to avoid anyone else just happening to hack in. He did eventually come up with something suitable, and then came the username.

Arthur sat there and stared at the computer for what was probably a solid minute as his mind struggled to come up with something. His username should have something to do with what sort of blog he would run, right? And what sort of blogs he would follow? He’d never actually been on tumblr before, so he wasn’t entirely sure what all there was to look at. And he didn’t want it to be too obvious that it was his, just in case Alfred happened across it during his browsing. Hell, what was he supposed to put?

Folding one arm against his chest, Arthur tucked his hand under his arm and pressed the other over his mouth. His brow furrowed as he thought, and another few minutes passed before he let out a frustrated huff and leaned back in his desk chair. Closing his eyes, he let his arms hang limp at his sides, and tried to let his mind wander in the hopes that something suitable would simply come to him. A stroke of genius or an epiphany or something of that sort.

_I’m only here because my lover is ignoring me in favor of this site, because I’ve got no one to tease or shag or flirt with anymore._

Green eyes went wide and he sat up so quickly that his chair rocked. Arthur’s fingers flew to the keyboard and quickly typed _no-one-to-tease._ It loaded for maybe an entire second that felt more like an eternity but a sense of victorious glee filled him up as soon as the box turned green. He was going to run a blog that was entirely dedicated to the fact that his boyfriend was ignoring him. Maybe he could get a little sympathy and advice from the strangers online.


	3. Chapter 3

This was more work than he’d been expecting. It wasn’t enough to just make an account—he had to actually design a blog for people to visit and see. Well, he didn’t _have_ to, he supposed, but if he was going to run a blog under the tag _no-one-to-tease_ then he was bloody well going to run it right. 

“Okay,” the green-eyed blond breathed, leaning over the keyboard as if that might unlock the secrets of designing a blog. “Themes. What are themes. ‘Browse Themes.’ Okay.”

The sidebar flashed, and a list of themes to choose from appeared. It was a daunting thing to look at. Arthur didn’t at all feel like scrolling through them all, especially because he didn’t really think he’d know which ones were good themes and which ones were bad themes.

“Hmmmm…”

How did anyone do this? Who had time to design so many of these things? And what sort of names were these supposed to be? _Prologue_? _The Atlantic_? _Feather_? _101_? They all seemed ridiculous or useless or just plain odd.

Ticking his tongue against his teeth, Arthur clicked through the themes in search of one that sounded nice. There were plenty of nice names, but the themes to go with them seemed too fancy or complicated. He was just beginning his blogging career, so he should probably start off with something simpler.

“ _Optica_. Hm.” Arthur clicked on the preview and found himself smiling when his unfinished blog took on the theme’s settings. There was a space for a header image, a centered avatar below that, then where the description of his blog would go, and then everything he blogged would be laid out nice and neat over whatever color background he decided to pick. Perfect.

All right, first came the title, the name of his blog, the thing that would say the most about who he was and why he was there. He was there for the attention he wasn’t getting in real life, he was _no-one-to-tease_ , he was educated and cultured and refined, and he was pretty sure he wanted to use some form of the word “tease” in his blog title.

_‘Tease Me’? No, that’s backwards. I want to do the teasing, not be teased. ‘Let’s Play’ sounds fun but I don’t want people sending me inappropriate pictures of themselves. I need a title that says I’m here to have a good time but that I’m not going to cheat on my boyfriend or start any sort of relationship. This is just an outlet for my sexual frustration and loneliness. What’s a title that says that?_

After thinking long and hard on it, Arthur sighed and pushed his chair back from his desk. This was giving him a headache, which meant it was time for a cup of tea.

Hands braced and leaning forward to push himself up out of his chair, the golden blond stopped as his brain furiously rewound.

Time for a cup of tea.

Tea time.

Time for Tea. Teasing.

Time for Teasing.

“It’s perfect!” The shout burst out of him before he could stop himself, and Arthur’s hands flew back to the keyboard to type into the Title bar.

“Time for Teasing,” he muttered as the words appeared, then paused and clicked back to add parenthesis. 

_Time for Tea(sing)_ appeared across the top of the blog, just under the box where his avatar would go.

“Perfect.”

It was in a plain font for now, but he’d change that when he got that far in the options menu. The next thing he needed to do was come up with a description. Well, best go with the honest explanation of why he was there.

_My arse of a boyfriend spends more time on this site than he does paying attention to me, so I may as well find out what all the fuss is about._

There. That was accurate and promised nothing about what he meant to do, but it wasn’t going to scare anyone off, either. Good. He was good at this.

Green eyes darting down the screen, it was a mere half of a second before Arthur was clicking open a new browser tab and opening Google to do an image search. He had a blog about being lonely and wanting to tease someone, but he didn’t want anything overtly sexual for his header image. Instead, he wanted something comforting and familiar, but fun, so he waited for the Google Image page to finish loading, then typed “London” into the search bar. He’d barely finished the word before suggestions began to appear, ranging from skylines to skyviews and cityscapes, close ups of architecture and the two-decker buses, Big Ben, the London Eye, and the tower bridge. Arthur only had to scroll a short ways before he came across a beautiful evening-time picture of the river and Ben, perfectly lit and colored. Within seconds, he’d saved it to his computer and was uploading it to Tumblr to use as his header image.

“Okay, next is…avatar.” So he needed a picture of himself, one that would fit the blog and theme, but that wouldn’t give away who he was, just in case anyone he knew happened across it.

Arthur leaned back in his chair and thought hard. Did he have any photos he could crop and use? No, he didn’t think so. He’d never taken pictures like the kind he needed before, had always been too embarrassed for that sort of thing, but, well, if this blog was all about getting out of his comfort zone and trying new things, trying to see why Alfred was ignoring him, then maybe he should take a little more risqué picture than he was used to.

Still a little hesitant about this part, the Englishman sat back in his chair again and somewhat clumsily began to unbutton his shirt. Should it be a torso shot? Would that be too much? Maybe just his mouth…he could smirk, or something like that…

Oh, no, his face was starting to turn pink. He was going to be blushing in his avatar if he didn’t get himself under control. Just breathe. In through the nose, out through the mouth, nice and steady…there…

Okay, he could do this. No problem. It was just a picture. It wasn’t like he was posing naked or shooting a porno. Just a simple little picture to put as his avatar for his blog. Easy. All he had to do was turn on his webcam and pose, make sure nothing was showing in the background of the shot, smirk a little, and….

_Click!_

The fake camera shutter sound effect was followed by the screen blinking, then the photo he’d just taken popped up at the bottom. He clicked it open, cropped it down to just his mouth and throat and collarbone so no one who saw it would easily realize it was him, saved it again, and switched back to Tumblr to upload it as his avatar. It’d been a bit pixelated on screen, but trapped in that little box, it looked surprisingly nice. It was actually sort of sexy.

“Hm. Not bad. Now, let’s see…avatar shape….”

A square or circle—curious, he clicked to the circle option and frowned as soon as it loaded. The circle cut off part of his face, making his mouth look odd, so he went back to the square and scrolled down to see what he was supposed to do next.

“Title font.” A small arrow to the right guided him into a list off fonts to choose from the first of which instantly caught his attention: 1785 Baskerville. There was no point in even looking at the others.

Background color—dark grey would look nice with his header image, and then he could make the title color white, and accents would be deep red, of course. There were several on/off slider options to show the header, show his avatar and description, to scroll or click from page to page and whatnot. Arthur only glanced at them before turning them all on. A few other options were at the bottom of the sidebar, but he didn’t know what they were for, so he moved his cursor up and hit the blue Save button. It loaded, Save became Saved, and the only other option was Exit, so he clicked that and looked at his brand new blog with more than a little bit of pride. He’d done it. He had a blog on the same website that had stolen Alfred from him, and he was going to make it better than whatever was so distracting to the American.


	4. Chapter 4

Even though he’d made an account several days ago, Arthur wasn’t nearly as active on Tumblr as he’d meant to be. He didn’t follow very many blogs yet, and the ones he did follow posted about tea and England and baking. They weren’t nearly as exciting as the blogs Al followed probably were.

Sighing, Arthur sank farther into the chair he was currently occupying and scrolled down his dashboard. Pictures of elegant tea cups and the English countryside made their way onto his screen, many of which he reblogged to adorn his own page. God, he was bored. What did Alfred even do on this site all day? There had to be more to it than this. He’d answered questions from some of his anonymous followers—he wasn’t sure where they’d come from or why they were interested in his blog, but he was about to turn down a bit of attention—and told them about himself and Alfred, to an extent. They were friendly enough, he supposed, and polite, but it still wasn’t the exciting pastime he’d been expecting.

There really had to be more to do than this, and Arthur was determined to find some way to entertain himself, even if it was in the same sedentary fashion his boyfriend had adopted.

Eyes drifting up the page, the golden blond found the search bar and typed in “lingerie.” Immediately, he was assaulted with images and gifs of women in lacy pants and bras, some were even mostly naked and—

He had to keep himself from cursing out loud at the sight of an up-close vagina complete with fingers right next to a woman on all fours with a rather large prick being pressed into her from behind. What the hell was wrong with this site? He’d searched for lingerie, not porn! Why on earth had these been tagged as lingerie?! No one was wearing anything! That was not lingerie!

Face reddening and deeply unsettled by what he’d just seen, Arthur went back to the space bar and hurried typed “men’s lingerie” instead.

The first images and blogs to appear at the top of the page didn’t seem to have anything to do with lingerie at all. Were people tagging these as some sort of inside joke? Well, he didn’t think it was very funny, merely an inconvenience that meant he had to scroll down in order to find what he was actually looking for.

Oh, if only Alfred knew the sort of things Arthur was looking at. He wished the ash blond did. It was so easy to imagine those models were the American lounging only a few feet away. Black silk overlaid with white lace, and fishnet stockings up to mid-thigh…his Alfred would be breathtaking in that. Or, if they had it in his size, he imaged something like that would make him feel extraordinarily sexy.

Good god, the red lace was even better than the black silk. And that white—he wished they had that pair in a royal blue. Bloody gorgeous. Where had this blog been all his life?

Yes, he was going to follow these blogs. These pictures had to be on his dash. This was something worth getting on the computer for. And, who knew, if he saw something he liked enough, he might even find out where he could get a few pairs of his own.

Maybe that would get Alfred to look away from the screen for a moment.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur’s face was flaming. This was not what he’d expected. He’d made the blog suggestive, but everyone had been so polite so far, and now…

_So stranger, you're trying to get back at your boyfriend? Then why not show us a picture of yourself in the lingerie you never got to show him?_

Someone wanted to see him in panties? Not even Alfred had ever requested or suggested that he wear lingerie. The closest they ever got to that was a snug-fitting pair of trousers, or patterned boxers. Admittedly, Arthur did sometimes do chores in nothing but an apron, but it was plain and he’d never worn it for Alfred. If he was going to do that, he was going to buy an apron that he actually felt attractive in first, not one he only pretended was sexy.

Well.

Maybe that was exactly what he should do. He could shop for one online and order it, or look up the patterns and make his own. It’d be easy enough to hide from Alfred—the American wasn’t likely to go snooping in Arthur’s office, after all.

Yes, he should look into doing that. First things first, though, he needed to take care of these messages. His lingerie posts had attracted quite a bit of attention, and he wasn’t entirely sure how to respond to some of these. This one was definitely going to have to wait for later, since he didn’t have any lingerie to pose in for it.

Finger sliding on the wheel of his mouse, Arthur scrolled to look at some of the other messages he’d received over the past couple of days.

_If you’re interested in lingerie, check out **this site **.****_

Oooh, a suggestion to shop for lingerie? There was no hesitation whatsoever as Arthur moved his cursor over the link and opened it in a new window. A site called XDress popped up, immediately displaying a rather attractive male model in nothing but a pair of sheer black panties and long black gloves.

_Oh._

His curiosity getting the better of him, the golden blond was quick to find the links across the top of the page.

_What’s New_ was highlighted pink, written in the same cute, curly font as _Panties, Lingerie, Cosplays, Accessories,_ and _Blog_.

Arthur clicked the _Panties_ link.

A drop-down list appeared, letting him choose between different styles and materials like silk or satin, thongs and g-strings, lace, briefs and so on. Whoever had suggested this site to him must really enjoy having plenty of options. He was going to have to thank them for providing a shopping opportunity. First, however, he was going to put some of these pictures on his blog where they belonged.


	6. Chapter 6

_He forgot._

Unbelievable. The entire world was going insane and the one person he cared to spend today with hadn’t even noticed. He spent every spare moment on that damned laptop of his, shouldn’t he have been reminded countless times that today was coming? How was it even possible that they were sitting in their apartment with absolutely no plans for Valentine’s Day?

Oh, right, because Alfred had a date with Tumblr.

Well, if he could spend Valentine’s Day on a website then so could Arthur, and the Brit was determined to have a better time than his negligent boyfriend.

He’d been getting dirty asks, hadn’t he? And sharing pictures of lingerie? There was even someone who wanted to see him naked. Clearly, he wasn’t the problem, if complete strangers were interested. The fact that he was resorting to this was entirely Alfred’s fault. The idiot hadn’t even bothered with a simple “Happy Valentine’s Day.” It was infuriating.

More annoyed than he cared to describe to himself, Arthur glared at the blue-eyed blond over the top of his screen. Honestly, what was Alfred even looking at? Arthur’d had a Tumblr for weeks now, over a month, and he hadn’t come across anything interesting enough to waste hours of his life away on. He’d much rather read a book or tend the flowers by the window. Yet there he was with his laptop on and Tumblr open, reblogging pictures of teacups and the British countryside.

Hell, it was Valentine’s Day, and if Alfred wasn’t going to give him the kind of attention he needed then Arthur was going to find it somewhere else.

Without a word, the golden blond stood and carried his laptop out of the living room, leaving a transfixed Alfred behind, and went down the short hall into the bedroom they shared.

_We sleep in the same bed but he still doesn’t do anything. It’s sad. Maybe if he wasn’t on his computer until ungodly hours of the morning, he’d have the energy to shag once in a while._

Even in his thoughts, Arthur was bitter. No one liked being ignored, least of all him, and he was tired of waiting for Alfred to notice. The American was completely oblivious. It was about time Arthur put his Tumblr blog to good use.

Shutting the door behind himself, the Brit set his laptop down on the bed and went to close the blinds. He was doing this for people on the internet, not his neighbors—no one he legitimately knew needed to see as he began to strip off the clothes he’d chosen for that day. Trousers, sweater, button-down, vest top, all the way down to his pants. It felt odd to stand there in nothing but a pair of boxers as he moved his cursor up to click on the little envelope icon, but Arthur ignored it for the sake of his pride. He was doing this, damn it.

If he had the guts to post that picture of the American flag boxers, then he could answer some of these more personal messages, too. Maybe he’d even post more pictures.

Sliding a knee onto the bed and sitting on his ankle, Arthur let his other foot dangle above the floor and chewed his lip as he read through the messages. He’d been neglecting his followers, mostly scrolling his dashboard instead of answering their questions. But they were clearly more interested in him than Alfred was, so he was determined to be better to them than Alfred was to him. He wasn’t about to do the same things his boyfriend was doing. They had questions, and they deserved answers, so Arthur would do his best to respond to each and every one of them.

First, however, in lieu of the holiday, he wanted to give them a special treat. The unfortunate thing was that he still didn’t own any of the type of lingerie that would be appropriate. He wanted to pose in pretty lace panties, but that was currently impossible. Still, something was better than nothing, so the golden blond shifted on the bed, lying back and lifting his hips so he could slide his pants down to his calves and kick them off onto the floor. He sat up again, pulling the blankets over his lap, turned on his laptop’s camera, posed, and tapped the touchpad.

_3…2…1…_

The screen blinked as the camera snapped the picture, then Arthur cropped it in one of the simple art programs he had and uploaded it to Tumblr. He didn’t add a caption or anything, just let the image be on its own. Hopefully, that would be enough for now.


	7. Chapter 7

“Alfred, I’m home!” His arms full of groceries, Arthur nudged the front door shut behind himself and carefully settled the paper bags on the counter. There was no response, but he knew the blue-eyed blond was home. Idiot was probably just glued to his computer, as usual.

“I don’t suppose you’d like to help me put these away and make dinner?” he called, his tone defeated rather than hopeful. It didn’t surprise him when there was still no answer.

Arthur sighed and began to empty the bags, neatly arranging the groceries he’d bought. It didn’t take more than a few minutes, then the bags were folded and tucked into the recycle bin.

Soft laughter from the living room momentarily interrupted the quiet of the kitchen, catching Arthur’s attention. Despite himself, he smiled to hear that Alfred was happy. He may not have approved of the source of that happiness, but that was beside the point. What could he do, anyway? The blog he’d started had gained more followers than he’d been expecting, but it wasn’t enough. A blog couldn’t replace Alfred, it could barely provide enough attention to keep him from going insane. In all honesty, he was disappointed with it. He’d expected more out of a site that could so completely capture the attention of someone as energetic as Alfred.

Another laugh sounded as the golden blond was tucking food away into the fridge. What was Alfred even doing on there? He was always laughing and commenting to himself…was Arthur just not blogging the right way?

“Hmm…”

The blond closed the fridge and straightened, considering that possibility. It was true, his followers sent him quite a few messages, and he was far from efficient when it came to answering. He hadn’t even bothered to check the site for several days—it’d been weeks since his last post.

_Alfred’s on constantly. He must put more effort into it than I have been._

Well, that settled it. Once he was finished putting away the groceries, Arthur was going to give this blogging business one last serious attempt.

A little rushed, the rest of his purchases were stashed in their proper places and Arthur spared only a glance to make sure he hadn’t missed anything before he left the kitchen. He passed through the living room, noting Al stretched out on the couch, and continued on into the hall then into the bedroom.

The bed was unmade, which wasn’t surprising in the least, and Alfred’s pajamas sat in a pile on the floor. Other than that, the room was cluttered with everyday items and desperately needed attention.

Alfred hadn’t been taking care of his chores.

Sighing, Arthur contemplated how long it would take him to clean up versus how successful he would be in trying to get Alfred off Tumblr long enough to take care of it.

…he would just do it himself.

“Lousy, no-good boyfriend.”

The pajamas were picked up, folded, and tucked into the proper dresser drawer.

“Useless bloody website.”

He straightened the blankets, smoothing them out neatly, then arranged the pillows against the headboard.

“Complete waste of my efforts.”

Really, was it too much to ask that Alfred at least keep up with housework? Not paying attention to Arthur was bad enough, but the blue-eyed blond was letting his blog interfere with and replace the rest of his life.

Arthur stilled, fingers lingering on the last of the knick-knacks he’d been straightening on the dresser.

“Bastard probably wouldn’t even notice if I left him,” he muttered softly, arms falling to his sides.

God, the possibility was devastating. It made his heart ache just to think about. But it wasn’t really possible, was it? Alfred would notice and stop him, right? He had to. They’d been dating for two and a half years. There was no way a silly website could ruin that.

At least, he hoped not.

With a small gasp, Arthur realized that his eyes had started to fill with tears and that he’d been standing motionless for a number of minutes. Hastily, he wiped his eyes, sniffed, and cleared his throat. Now was not the time to be crying. Why should he, anyway? He wasn’t going to leave Alfred and Al would stop him if he tried, anyway. There was no reason to be anything other than annoyed at the blond in the other room.

Well, annoyed and perhaps fed up enough to strike below the belt. If Alfred wasn’t going to leave his computer in order to pay attention to Arthur in person, then perhaps Arthur would just have to make himself available to the American online. All he had to do was wait for Alfred to go to the bathroom or make snack, leaving his laptop unguarded. That was when Alfred would finally realize what he was missing out on.


	8. Chapter 8

He’d had two cans of soda. He had to go to the bathroom soon.

With an open book in his lap, Arthur sat in his usual comfortable armchair in the corner of the living room. It was one of his favorite novels, but he wasn’t reading. He was waiting.

Twice now, Alfred had risen from his place on the couch, filling Arthur with hope. both instances had proven inopportune, however, as the bespectacled blond had only wandered to the kitchen and back to get himself a drink—Vanilla Coke, his favorite. The short distance between couch and refrigerator just didn’t provide enough time.

So Arthur waited, pretending to read, though he doubted Alfred would notice if he sat there naked getting drunk . After two Cokes, it was only a matter of time before Alfred had to use the bathroom.

If he hadn’t been so determined, Arthur might have given up by now. There was nothing quite so boring as sitting in silence, pretending to read while his neglectful boyfriend blogged. It was almost painful.

_There are far better uses for my time._

Yes, but Arthur wanted to know what was so interesting about the blogs Alfred was following. He hadn’t bothered making an account on Tumblr just to let it waste away.

The book in his hands tempted him to stop watching the other male so closely, to turn back to the first page and begin to read the familiar lines. It would be much more relaxing than this irritated waiting was. Tempting, tempting. But no, he couldn’t. If he began reading he might become too distracted to notice Alfred getting up and would miss his chance, and then all of this pretending would be for nothing.

There was nothing for it—he was just going to have to wait.

With a sigh, Arthur sank down slightly in his chair and rested the book in his lap, staring at the page without reading. Alfred kept scrolling and clicking, the keys of his laptop occasionally erupting as he added his own thoughts to some post or other. What fascinating blogs he must be following. Clearly, Arthur wasn’t as knowledgeable about blogging as Alfred was. Had he been, he wouldn’t even need to sneak onto Alfred’s laptop.

“Mm.”

The sound distracted Arthur from his musings and he watched from the corner of his eye as Alfred stood, stretched, and left the room. Not until he heard the bathroom door click shut Arthur drop his book to the side and reposition himself on the couch. Alfred had left Tumblr open, but Arthur didn’t touch anything on the tab. If it changed while he was gone, Alfred would get suspicious, and that would ruin the entire plan. Instead, Arthur opened a new tab and entered Tumblr into the url bar, fingers tapping impatiently as it loaded—when was the last time Alfred ran a scan for viruses? Ears straining for any clue that Alfred might be coming back out of the bathroom, Arthur hurried to search his own blog on the Tumblr search bar and was relieved when it appeared relatively quickly.

The toilet flushed, making him jump.

Frantic not to be caught, the golden blond clicked the link to his blog and followed it, barely waiting long enough to see the page reload before he closed the tab and moved. Just as Alfred appeared back in the living room, Arthur opened the fridge.

“Want anything?” he asked, hoping his tone was casual enough to mask how fast his heart was beating. It was a silly thing to get so worked up over, but he couldn’t help it.

“Naw.” The American flopped down onto the couch, long legs stretched out and feet propped on one armrest, his laptop settled on his stomach seconds later.

To remain inconspicuous, Arthur poured himself a glass of the iced tea Alfred was so fond of—it wasn’t bad at all, honestly—and returned to the living room. His book beckoned from his chair in the corner, but Arthur resisted it once more. Relaxing would have to come later. First, he needed to make sure he’d gotten what he needed by adding Alfred to his blog’s followers.

The book was left where’d he dropped it and Arthur continued through the living room and down the hall to the bedroom. His laptop sat waiting on his bedside table, charged and ready. Sipping his tea, the blond sat on the edge off the bed and opened the device. It powered up quickly and he logged in, typing his password with one hand so he could keep hold of his drink. As soon as the screen and programs finished loading, he double-clicked the browser icon and went straight to Tumblr. His blog’s follower number had increased, though he was only really interested in the newest one.

 _Earths-greatest-hero_ was at the top of his list of followers; with the smallest of smiles, Arthur clicked the small + symbol next to the blog’s name. Now to see what was so entertaining for Alfred on this time-consuming site.

This was utterly ridiculous. Alfred’s blog was full of nothing but superheroes and cartoons and cats!

Frowning in disbelief, Arthur scrolled through the blog’s main page, green eyes tracking the posts about the new _Star Wars_ movie, _Deadpool_ , cats, cartoons he didn’t recognize and a few superheroes that he did. _This_ was what kept Alfred busy day in and day out? _How?_

Disgusted, the blond shut his laptop with a huff and got up, leaving the living room in favor of the bedroom. If he’d stayed in the same space as Alfred for much longer, he would have started yelling.

With the bedroom door safely shut behind him and his laptop discarded on the bed, Arthur paced the room for a few moments before tangling both his hands in his hair and staring at the ceiling.

“What the hell?” he asked softly, eyes wide and brow furrowed. “What the hell is so fascinating about cats and cartoons? Am I just that boring? Is he really that disinterested in me?”

It was insulting. They’d been together for a while, but now long enough for Alfred to just lose interest. Right? The American hadn’t voiced any unhappiness with the relationship, he’d just suddenly been glued to his laptop. Everything had been fine until the blue-eyed blond had started blogging.

“Cats are more interesting than me,” Arthur muttered, sitting on the bed and slouching forward, his forearms braced on his knees. “Superheroes and cartoons are more important than me.”

Should he feel ashamed? Humiliated? Angry? Was he that terrible of a boyfriend? Or was Alfred just that negligent? God, he didn’t know.

At least he’d followed himself with the other man’s blog. Alfred spent so much time on the site, there was no way he wouldn’t see Arthur’s posts, and so long as he didn’t show his face in his pictures, Alfred wouldn’t know it was him. Perhaps a little online romance would spark the American’s interest.

Arthur set his jaw and moved to sit in the center of the bed, opening his laptop once more and pulling up one of the many lingerie sites he’d discovered since starting his blog. “If I can’t get his attention in person,” he said to himself as he typed, “then I’ll get his attention as some nameless online playmate.”


	9. Chapter 9

“Arthur, is that manuscript ready yet?”

The blond didn’t answer right away, too focused to have realized he was being addressed.

“Arthur.”

“Hm?” His answering hum was barely audible, accompanied by the smallest turn of his head.

“Are you about finished with that?”

“I’m on the last page.”

“Turn it in before you go.”

“Got it.” Arthur didn’t take his eyes off the paper in his hand as he spoke, scanning the black lines of text. A red pen flicked back and forth between two of the fingers of his right hand, little more than a blur of movement. It was an interesting read, but the writer clearly needed more training with grammar and spelling. Still, the plot and characters seemed promising.

The blond paused, pen catching between his fingers, and marked down a spelling error, as well as a misplaced comma.

His fingers resumed their twiddling, and he looked over the last few lines.

_Not bad. Not bad at all._

His lips quirked up musingly and he laid the paper on his desk so he could add his final comments in the blank space at the bottom of the last page. This manuscript might actually have a chance at making it, even with the brutal screening processes of the house.

Satisfied with his work, Arthur dropped his pen into the appropriate cup and added the page he’d just finished to the pile he’d been reading through for the last few days. He picked up the papers, boxing the edges so they all sat nicely together, and secured them in place with two rubber bands, one the long way, one the short way, to ensure it would stay neat until the next level of editors had a chance to look it over. Once he was finished with that, he tidied up the rest of his desk, packed his bag, put on his coat, and left his cubicle, manuscript in hand.

The bound manuscript was left in the tray secured to the wall next to his supervisor’s office, where they would be found in the morning and taken inside. Unless there was a problem, it was the last Arthur would see of that story. It would either survive the editing process and be published into a book, or it would be rejected and discarded. Arthur, in the meantime, would continue to look through the other submissions that made it to his level of editing.

Since he was one of the last people to leave, there was no one to slow him down as the blond went to the elevator, rode it down to the lobby, and left the building. The employee parking lot was nearly empty, only a few stalls still occupied by those who had to catch up on their work before they could leave for the night. Arthur was never the first one out the door—he didn’t believe in rushing his work—but he was certainly never the last, and that, at least, gave him a certain amount of satisfaction.

It was a short walk down to the train station, Arthur’s thoughts occupied by the thought of a bath and a cup of tea as he went through the motions of going home. For a moment, he imagined watching a movie with Alfred, only to remember that the American was still more interested in his website than he was in Arthur. It was far more likely that they would spend tonight blogging, instead.

The thought made Arthur sigh, his mood dropping significantly. He didn’t like coming home from a day at work to an inattentive boyfriend. If his blog scheme didn’t start to work soon, he was going to get depressed.

_Great. This idea is working out splendidly._

Well, maybe he’d find something worthwhile to do. He could always post a few more pictures to his blog, take a nice long bath, read, have a cup of tea and a few biscuits. That would make a nice enough evening, even if Alfred wasn’t involved, and Arthur could always invite him. Maybe he’d actually accept, and they’d spend the evening together.

The hope for that stayed with him all the way home, right up to the moment he unlocked the door and walked into the apartment. Silence and dim rooms greeted him. Alfred wasn’t home yet.

With a sigh, Arthur dropped his bag on the floor just inside the door and took the mailbox key from its place on the wall above the coat hooks. There was considerably less spring in his step as he went back down to the main floor of the apartment building and towards a wall consisting almost entirely of mailboxes. One of them, closer to the left and towards the top, was labelled with a small white sticker that read “Jones/Kirkland.” Absently, Arthur inserted the key and twisted it, opening the mailbox to his and Alfred’s apartment.

Two plastic-wrapped packages tilted forward and fell out, landing at the green-eyed blond’s feet and startling him into actually paying attention to what he was doing. Curious now, the Briton picked up the fallen packages and examined the labels—they were both addressed to him, but the return addresses weren’t in English. It was a few seconds before he realized what they probably were.

Excitement coursed through him and the packages were all but clutched to his chest as Arthur barely glanced long enough to make sure the mailbox was empty before practically running back up the stairs. Suddenly, it didn’t seem so bad that he had the apartment to himself.

The door slammed shut behind him when Arthur reentered the apartment and hurried to the bedroom, forgetting entirely about his bag still abandoned in the front hall He ripped into the packages, tossing bits of plastic to the floor without a thought, until one then two empty bags fell to the floor, leaving their brightly colored contents draped across the bed. Red lace, black silk, matching ribbons. It was hardly enough fabric to cover anything, and that was exactly what Arthur had been hoping for.

These were sure to get Alfred’s attention. He just had to make it perfect.


	10. Chapter 10

Almost shaking in his excitement, Arthur rocked back on his heels and looked at the alarm clock on the nightstand. The glowing numbers claimed it wasn’t even half past five yet. Alfred wasn’t home. He wanted to try these on, but…well, if he was going to wear lingerie, then he was going to do it right. No half-assed nonsense. He’d bought these panties to spoil himself, and trying them on without properly appreciating their luxury was unacceptable. No, he wouldn’t wear any of it until he was good and ready.

Gently, Arthur picked up the delicate garments and carefully tucked them into the back of his top drawer with his other pants. Alfred had his own dresser, so there was no way the American would happen across them.

Then he gathered up the garbage from the packaging and took it out to the kitchen to throw in the bin. His discarded bag caught his attention, then, and he picked it up to put it in its proper place in his office. The rest of the apartment was given a once-over to make sure nothing else was out of place. He wouldn’t be able to relax if his home was a mess.

But there didn’t seem to be anything else to tend to, so Arthur went back into the bedroom and stripped down, already planning how he wanted to spend his evening. What had he considered as he was leaving work? A long bath, a cup of tea and some biscuits. Oh, he was definitely going to take a bath, and wasted absolutely no time in making preparations for it.

Minutes later, soft music filled the bathroom as Arthur soaked in the tub, illuminated only by a handful of small candles. There was nothing like a little pampering to get ready to try on some lingerie, right? His favorite playlist, plenty of bubbles, a few candles, and a fresh cup of tea made for a near-perfect evening. All that was missing was Alfred, but Arthur wasn’t thinking about that. No, he was focused on enjoying his bath.

The music swelled and Arthur hummed along, his eyes almost closed in the dim light. Lazily, his fingers stirred the bubbles in small figure eights. It was a new soap, one he’d never tried before, something thick and creamy that was making his skin feel softer than ever. Definitely better than any lotion he’d used.

Arthur let out a contented sigh, his eyes closing as he slipped a bit farther down into the water. It was so warm and smooth, comforting, relaxing every single one of his muscles, even that tense spot he got behind his shoulder from work. He could have fallen asleep.

But he shouldn’t. Who knew when Alfred would be home? If he wanted to take any pictures in his pretty new things, he’d need to do so before his negligent partner’s return. Alfred would just have to wait to see it on his blog like everyone else.

That thought put a smirk on Arthur’s face. He hoped he’d be in the same room as the taller blond when the picture showed up on his dash. What would Alfred do? Blush? Reblog it? Or would he be uncomfortable and unfollow Arhtur’s blog? That would ruin all of Arthur’s fun. The strangers were nice, and their attention was better than nothing, but he wanted Alfred to notice him. Even if the American didn’t necessarily know who he was noticing. Just a little attention from his boyfriend, that was all Arthur wanted. And he’d take it however he could get it.

With a sigh, the green-eyed blond opened his eyes and sat up, immediately checking the time on his phone. It was almost six, and he didn’t know when Al would be back. Maybe he already was. He supposed that didn’t really matter, though. He hadn’t left his new things out, had already hidden them safely away in his drawer. Alfred wouldn’t find them, and he’d almost certainly be too busy to notice anything Arthur did for the rest of the night. It was all right that he’d taken his time with his bath. He was, after all, supposed to be pampering himself.

There was no hurry or rush to his movements as Arthur stood and stepped out of the tub. He stretched leisurely, curling his toes into the softness of the bathroom rug. His towel easily absorbed the water that clung to his skin. Everything was warm and smooth and soft, and Arthur smiled as he finished toweling his hair. When he was sufficiently dry, he traded the towel for a bottle of lotion—vanilla rosewood, his favorite. It had a subtle, sweet smell, and he took his time rubbing it into every inch of his skin. It wouldn’t be much of a pampering if he was left feeling all dry and itchy, and he wouldn’t look as nice in his pictures that way.

So he made sure his skin was perfectly moisturized before wrapping his towel around his waist. He finally took the time to drain the tub and blow out the candles he’d lit, but left the music playing on his phone. It helped keep him relaxed. The rest of the mess was left untouched. It wasn’t like Alfred would notice or care, so he left the bathroom as it was and moved instead towards the bedroom. There was no sound or light coming from the living room to signal that Alfred had come home, so it seemed he still had the apartment to himself.

His phone was deposited on top of his dresser, the volume turned up now, so he’d be able to hear it clearly no matter where in the room he was. Still in just a towel, the blond settled on his side of the bed and opened his nightstand drawer to retrieve a nail file. With only the music to accompany him, he examined his nails for chips or snags, filing away any imperfections. Once they were all nicely shaped and of an appropriate, comfortable size, he dropped the file back into the drawer and closed it again. They looked nice enough, he supposed, but he was beginning to wish he had one of those little home-manicure sets so he could buff and shine them. It was the little things that counted when you were posting dirty pictures of yourself. A broken nail could ruin the entire photo if anyone noticed it. That would be a horrible distraction from the intended focus. But they were good enough for now, and he could always crop the photo or pose to keep them out of view if he had to.

Turning his attention away from his nails, Arthur stood and discarded his towel. The bedroom was warm enough that it wasn’t uncomfortable to be naked, so he didn’t rush to dress.

“Hmmm,” he hummed to himself as he retrieved both new pairs of panties from his drawer, trying to decide which to wear first. The black satin was incredibly soft to the touch; he put the red lace pair back for later. Maybe he’d take pictures in them tomorrow, give his followers something to look at two days in a row. He hadn’t posted much original content yet, so that would be a nice surprise for them.

Careful not to stretch the delicate fabric, Arthur stepped into the panties and pulled them up. They sat snug around his hips, cupping him nicely, and were just as soft inside as they were out. If anyone bothered to ask, he wouldn’t struggle to admit they were probably the most comfortable undergarment he’d ever worn. A look over his shoulder confirmed that they made his arse look very nice, too. A win-win.

He could definitely take a few pictures in these.

But, first, he needed to catch up on his Asks. There were nearly fifty of them—he’d been neglecting his poor followers, and hadn’t dedicated nearly enough time to answering their questions. Tonight, he would fix that, and a picture as a cherry on top.

Arthur went and fetched his laptop from the office, though he was quiet in the hall, sneaking until he was absolutely sure that Alfred wasn’t home and wouldn’t see him in black satin panties. The American didn’t deserve to see them in person just yet.

Safely back in the bedroom, he locked the door and went to the bed, stretching out comfortably before opening and turning on the laptop. It started up in seconds, and Arthur immediately opened his browser to tumblr’s website. The envelope in the top right corner beckoned him, boasting a few new asks since the last time he’d checked.

“Oh, dear,” the blond sighed, clicking on the icon and scrolling to the bottom, “I’ve been as boring as Alfred.”

Well, he could fix that.

His music continued to play as Arthur read and answered the messages he’d received, the keyboard clicking quietly under his fingers. He wouldn’t answer _all_ of them tonight, but he would make a good dent. Eventually, he got the number of unanswered asks down from nearly fifty to a mere seventeen. The rest he could do later, probably not until tomorrow, but he’d get to them soon. Some of the ones he’d answered were repeated, and he probably could have skipped them rather than give the same answers more than once, but it was his own fault for falling so far behind. Everyone deserved to be answered, after all.

Sliding his laptop to the side, Arthur rolled onto his back and stretched, his arms tired from propping himself up for so long. That was a lot of asks to answer in one go, and he definitely didn’t want to let them pile up like that again, especially with how nice so many of them were. Quite a few people were concerned that Alfred was genuinely treating him badly, which Arthur didn’t think was the case. Being distracted wasn’t the worst thing that could happen, and he wasn’t letting himself take it personally.

A couple of other people wanted to know what the American looked like, and Arthur was beginning to wonder how difficult it would be to get a picture without his partner knowing. He could always try.

For now, though, he was more interested in posting pictures of himself, so he pushed himself up into a sitting position and clicked through his laptop to the webcam. It would be just one photo for now, a simple one, nothing fancy, just something to show that he’d gotten himself some nice pants and liked them. Tomorrow, or sometime soon, he’d try getting a little more creative, but tonight he set the webcam timer to ten seconds and moved to stand by the wall. His screen showed what the picture would look like, and he posed, his body turned for a side view, one hand propped against his back and chest angled towards the camera. He’d probably crop it at about his ribs, since the pants were meant to be the main focus, but he liked the way the curve of his spine looked this way.

The laptop counted down then took the picture with an exaggerated shutter sound, then displayed the new image for Arthur to approve. He looked it over, making sure it wasn’t too blurry or awkward, then opened it in a different program to crop and save. When he was satisfied with it, he clicked back to Tumblr and reset the page to the top of his dashboard so he could select the Photo option for a new post. He uploaded his picture, then clicked the dialogue box below it to add a caption.

_Because I’ve gotten quite a few asks requesting more pictures, and to inquire if I’ve purchased anything for myself, I thought I’d take care of both at once. These are very comfortable black satin, and I must say, I rather like the way they look._

_I did make one other purchase that has also arrived, but you’ll all have to behave yourselves if you want to see it ;)_

_Ta for now!_

Satisfied with that, Arthur added the appropriate tags, paused, then went back up to add _PLEASE DO NOT REPOST!_ to his picture’s caption. He didn’t really think anyone would save and repost his photo, but it was something he’d seen other bloggers doing, and it couldn’t hurt. A few moments later he’d clicked the post button, and his dashboard refreshed to show his own nearly-naked body at the top of his feed.

Well, hopefully his followers would enjoy his sudden surge in activity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arthur's blog:
> 
> https://no-one-to-tease.tumblr.com/

**Author's Note:**

> Arthur's blog: https://no-one-to-tease.tumblr.com/
> 
> Alfred's blog: https://earths-greatest-hero.tumblr.com/
> 
> Please read the rules pages before following/interacting!


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